worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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