I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize