Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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