North Korea, Best Korea!
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
