The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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