Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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