All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
