Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
