Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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