Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
