I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
