What did we do last night that was yellow?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
