Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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