i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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