I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize