Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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