I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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