I want to stick my p in your. b.
Duck Duck Cougar?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
