Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
