I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Two words: nipple clamps
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