8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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