The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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