I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
