dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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