I can't breathe out the right side of my face
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize