He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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