Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
