I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
