Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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