Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Even my vagina gasped.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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