Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
