Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
