I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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