And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
