whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
