grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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