all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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