is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
