Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
