We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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