Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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