Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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