You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
