so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
