Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Randomize
