I heard we made out
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
