Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
