Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize