drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
