I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
