SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
