Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
