You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
