I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
