last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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