i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
