I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
