This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
