Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
