she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
