JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
