At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
