I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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