He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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