I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We need to rekindle our bromance
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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