Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
