Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
