Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
