Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
