How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
