I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
